Single mom dating can be tough! Single moms know the struggle of finding love and companionship. They are looking for someone who will treat them with respect, care and commitment. In this article, I will share some tips that will help you find your perfect match. If you want some more ideas, be sure to check out Oprah's article! And, if you want more thorough dive into single mom dating, please check out my other post, The Ultimate Guide to Dating as a Single Mom!
1) Be Yourself-ish in Single Mom Dating
So, a lot of people will tell you that the best way to find someone who is compatible with you is to be yourself. If you are happy in your own skin, your potential partner will appreciate that. But, allow me to be devil's advocate a little bit here…
Yes, be yourself, but keep in mind, you want to be the *best* version of yourself! If you are normally super reserved, allow yourself to open up more so you can share some more of your thoughts and feelings with thise new person. If you are normally super chatty, take a second to sit back and listen to what this person wants to tell you! This is not exactly changing yourself but letting a new person into your life and heart. So, you may have to slightly adjust your tendency to clam up or overshare.
2) Take Time For Yourself
For single mom dating, you need to still focus on yourself. Single moms need time for themselves just as much as anyone else does. Resist the urge to go out every night and focus on finding someone who will make you happy and fulfill all of your needs.
Make sure that you are taking time to rest, take care of yourself and have girls nights every once in a while! And if you have a binge night, then that is just something to share with your date, like, “Oooh I finished the new season of “Whatever” show, have you watched “Whatever?” Yes, I just made up a new hit show called “Whatever,” I'm sure those producers will be handing me cash any day now!
3) Don't Rush Into Things
Single moms need time to develop a relationship just as any other person does. Be patient and give yourself the opportunity to meet someone who is compatible with you. Also, take time to really understand your wants and needs before trying to add another person fully in your life. This is crucial to single mom dating. Making sure you know what you want at this stage in your life.
And, when you are on a date, savor the moment! Don't be comparing him to every other guy you matched with, and then not enjoying your time with him. Be there and enjoy getting to know this new person. You can take time after the date to think about how he is as a match and maybe do a bit of comparing.
And speaking of comparing, remember to give him the benefit of the doubt and don't be overly harsh. Also, it is hard to compare men if you have only messaged one a bit online and the other one, you went on a date in real life. The guy from the real date is going to get brownie points right away because they gathered up the courage to go on a real date! Of course, the online guy may ask you out too and then, you know, you have more basis for comparison. Which leads me to my next tip…
4) Stay Positive And Optimistic with Single Mom Dating
If you are comparing men, stay positive and optimistic! Remember how I said to give men the benefit of the doubt? Well, this is because men will be nervous too! They are trying their best and get rejected so much. Seriously, do you know how much men get rejected? Like, a ton! Really, go ask a guy friend of yours how much he's been rejected. Better yet, go ask a guy friend of yours out on a date!
Anyway, staying positive is so important because you know as well as I do, being single as a mom is not always easy. However, remain positive and optimistic about your situation. This way, you can maintain your self-esteem and find the love of your life.
Here's some positive news for you: most people whowant love, find it. It's true! If you really want love and are willing to put in a little effort to do so, you will find it!
And remember, people like being around others who are positive. I have ended relationships before they ever start because a guy was so incredibly negative on the phone call, I had absolutely no desire to see him in real life! Ok, so if you are saying, why didn't you give him the benefit of the doubt? Ladies, if everything you say, he finds a negative way to spin it and basically says that things will be bad forever, that's not nerves. He truly thinks very pessimistically.
How to stay positive, you ask? Positive self-talk and positive talk to other people in your life, Ahem, especially the thiny people in your life, your children! We can get more into this ina later post.
Even with all this positive talk, you will have negative days or moments. That's ok. If you are having a really bad horrible negative day and you have a date scheduled, please try to reschedule it! It most likely will not go well if you are in a really sour mood.
Here is a great post from Parents about the right mindset for single mom dating!
5) Ask For Help When Needed
If you find yourself struggling to date as a single mom, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to single moms and dating can be tricky at first.
Try searching for a dating coach online. Yes, they exist! Many of them have wonderful advice, courses, etc. Some of them offer free ebooks and cheap ways for you to get some info.
Ask a friend for help picking out outfits, taking photos for your online profile, and things like that. Your friends may not always have the best advice for silly rules like you can't text 3 days after a date, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter is aligned with Mars…oh wait, that's a song! But, yes, some friends will not always have the best advice so maybe ask those who are in healthy relationships or take what any of them say with a grain of salt.
Stay tuned for a post in the future about some great dating coaches you can find online!